Give your new baby old stuff

And the newborn asked, "Is this vintage?"

Q: Know who doesn’t care if the bouncer they’re plopped into is new or used?

A: A baby.

In December, popular baby registry site Babylist quietly launched its “secondhand feature,” which allows expecting parents to toggle a setting on their online registry that lets gift givers know they’re open to receiving pre-loved gifts.

Despite its inane appearance, this product is quite useful. We are currently using it as a table, which it transforms into. Wowee!

I have spent multiple hours reviewing friends’ baby registries and have found myself saying, often, “take that [specific item] off, you can use mine,”

And on the receiving end, many of the best items I’ve been gifted were pre-loved. Some of these include:

• A huge box of outgrown premie clothes neatly organized from one of my sisters-in-law when my twins came six weeks early (I hadn’t thought to purchase or register for a single preemie thing)

• Multiple bins of the cutest clothes I watched my niece and nephews grow up in, saved for me by my sisters and sisters-in-law

• Books I read to my niece that she now reads to her cousins 🥹

• A literal Snoo from one of my sisters-in-law (if ya know ya know) and also a baby swing I never would have thought to buy that ended up saving our lives

• Half-full boxes of diapers from friends with growing tots

I also bought several used items on eBay, Poshmark, and Facebook Marketplace (especially from twin-focused groups, since there are items you really benefit from having two of with twins, despite the clutter), which I then resold or re-gifted after my kids stopped using them. Some of these include:

• Some unopened pacifiers and pacifier clip things that someone was trying to offload

• Two Bjorn bouncers (which retail for fuckin’ $200 a piece. This item is a thick piece of metal bent in a particular shape covered in a piece of cloth. You use them for about 6 months. Image shared to share in the disbelief)

  

  I do not know this baby; this image is from Walmart’s website

• Many different kinds of shoes since my children didn’t walk ‘til 22 months and I needed to experiment and also die

• A discounted Nanit baby monitor never before used (hot tip: you can get a lot of unopened stuff on eBay and also GoodBuyGear. This option is great for items that, for whatever reason, you feel weird about buying used. I recommend!!)

• A single umbrella stroller that a stranger gave me for free when I asked in a local FB group if anyone had one I could buy

• Endless items one of my SILs copped off of her local Buy Nothing Group because she has a minor addiction (not complaining)

• Stupid and/or vintage clothes I found on sites like ThredUp that brought me joy (see: my child in a Microsoft t-shirt)

  

  tiny nerd alert

  Much of this secondhand shopping and perusing takes time — a resource that not everybody has, obvi. Sometimes buying (or gifting) new is the only option: You click a button, or place something on your registry, and it’s all taken care of so you can go take care of the many other things going on your life.

Babylist’s secondhand feature is so useful and brilliant for this marketplace, and for so many reasons.

• It streamlines your communication: One toggle feature lets your network know that you need shit, and you’d be happy to use theirs. (While it’d be sick if gifting secondhand was an accepted social norm, it is usually not.) It’s a one-and-done bullhorn that announces: I am having a child and I will take all the help I can get.

• Many must-have newborn items are useful for mere months. Then they just take up space or get thrown out because who TF has time to research where you can donate a bathtub that fits in your kitchen sink.

• The newborn “must-have” marketplace is overcrowded with options, and as a new parent, you’re often compelled to try them all because it can feel like if you don’t, you will die. Sometimes your baby doesn’t like a particular swaddle, but loves another. There’s no rhyme or reason and this small little potato of a human being now makes all decisions and is your owner. You must abide. Being able to test out or borrow a friend’s ergonomic baby carrier can be both helpful and economical.

• It can be hard to know what you need. When you inform a group of people that you are expecting, it becomes clear quickly whose baby raising mentalities align with your own, and these people become become your Ask Jeeves Google for all pre- and postpartum inquiries (shout out to my group chat, lmw, and Nurse Katie). When you let a group of people know you are open to used items, an even larger group is likely to come around: I’ve found that there are plenty of people within six degrees of separation who jump at the opportunity to offload their old baby stuff upon you (I have become this person, too). There is something quite sweet feeling about handing down something you used with your own newborn to someone you know. And also, getting rid of stuff is a non-negotiable when you have a growing potato in your home.

Babylist’s feature also helps, I think, to make secondhand newborn stuff a bit less taboo. Some folks have no option but to go secondhand. But those privileged enough to be able to choose can convince themselves they’re not behaving like a good parent if they’re not buying new (we could unpack this, but the reason is marketing).

“Since the feature's soft launch in December 2024, Babylist has already seen 350,000 items marked as 'open to secondhand,’” a brand rep wrote me in an email. “Babylist understands that welcoming a new baby takes a village, and they wanted to provide a resource that reduces the pressure on new parents and their communities. The Secondhand feature helps to make trustworthy baby gear more accessible, affordable, and sustainable for families.”

Truly loves it.

Hats off to Babylist for showing that companies can make money while simultaneously offering sustainable alternatives. Let’s keep this up.

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