How I threw a zero-waste 1st birthday party
...just kidding.
Just over a month ago, my little twin babies turned one.
I was excited to host a roomful of family who love my children and have fallen for their tiny, fat hands and wrist rolls, but my anxiety over the amount of waste I was sure to produce with this fete hovered like a plastic-filled storm cloud.
Being a mom to twins already has me consuming way more than I care to admit (double the joy, double the diapers, am I right?). Making sure my guests were fed and happy and entertained meant I was ordering on Amazon a lot. And buying stupid plastic shit from the dollar store. Needless waste that all felt so… necessary.
I consumed and became all-consumed with this dooms day thought pattern: Is it even possible to throw a kids party without buying so much future garbage? Do I have to go full on funky granola lady in order to feel like I did enough to protect the planet (like: Would I have to fashion a happy birthday garland out of grass and leaves? Make dandelion flower crowns? Would I need to tell everyone to bring their own cup and fork? That no one could bring a plastic toy? Or anything wrapped? Or presents at all?? I give credit to the people who go that far, but it’s not who I am right now.)
It was easy to spiral: How does anyone throw a party without filling up a landfill? Am I going to be doing this every year until they’re 18 and is it even possible to celebrate these little perfect people without trashing their future? Should parties be outlawed altogether?
I came back down to earth because I had no choice — we were having a party and details needed to be arranged. Looking back on how it all came together, I’ve been able to see some things I could do differently in the years to come, and I’m (almost) excited to keep experimenting with ways to have a fun hang without being a total garbage person.
And so, some records and reflections:
Invitations
What I wanted: To let people know we were having a party and to document RSVPs.
What I did: I sent out Paperless Post invites.
What I could do next time: No notes. This was executed just fine. (ALTHOUGH, we all have a digital carbon footprint to which our emails contribute. I just can’t allow myself to go here right now. I think even Mother Teresa would send an email if she had the chance. Do not look at my inbox.)
Entertainment
What I wanted: Some kind of fun physical activity for the handful of children in attendance.
What I did: I bought a little ball pit used on Facebook marketplace. I thought this was kind of smart. The balls and fabric around the pit were washable (did you know you could put ball pit balls in the washing machine?!). I knew for sure I didn’t want to buy new plastic balls or have them in my house for very long. A few days after the party, I posted the ball pit in my local Buy Nothing group and rid it from my apartment.
What I could do next time: The entertainment needs will change as the kids grow, no doubt. I looked into rental options, but since our little party was quite little, the financials didn’t make sense. But I do think renting entertainment in the future — depending on the size of the occasion — could be the move.
Another move could be to just let kids be kids: Bring the toys they already own to whatever space in which the party is happening and let the babies go ham. And, also, borrow my sister-in-law’s bubble machine, because #bubbles.
Food and Catering
What I wanted: Delicious food. Food to please all palates. For no person to go hungry. For my son to say, “Mmmm,” in his sweet high pitched voice when he eats something he enjoys.
What I did: Pizza! Pizza! We ordered too much pizza as well as an excessive amount of hot dishes and salads. We bought snacks. I chopped cucumbers and carrots for dipping. We got sodas in cans, beers in glass bottles and, admittedly, a pack of Poland Spring. We ordered disposable aluminum chafing dishes from Amazon. We forced our families to leave the party with food for dinner and we froze a lot of the leftovers. But we still did waste quite a bit of food.
We had plastic cutlery and plastic plates (nope, not paper) and plastic cups. I’m just telling the truth. I got a Carvel Cake because if there’s one thing my children will inherit from me, it’s my relationship with ice cream cake.
My talented neighbor who is a baker also made some cupcakes. I printed out the littles’ faces and glued them to wooden sticks. TBH this info isn’t that relevant, I just wanted to show them off. Also, support local business?
What I could do next time: Order less. Be more realistic about the ratio of guests to pizzas necessary (let this be a notarized memo for my spouse). Maybe invest in a non-disposable chafing dish situation if I truly see this kind of hosting in my future (IDK). Invite acquaintances and neighbors to come enjoy the leftovers (we did a little bit of this, but could have planned ahead). Definitely go for paper plates if they must be disposable at all, or consider renting serving supplies or investing in some kind of party plates to use again and again (maybe melamine?).
Decor
What I wanted: Some festive touches to say “YAY!” without going overboard. (I did purchase those napkins above. No regrets.)
What I did: I went to the dollar store and begrudgingly bought some banners made out of paper and some noise blowers (that not one person touched). I ordered some colorful, disposable tablecloths on Amazon. I also bought a couple of crafty-type activities for the kids to doodle on.
But then, here’s where I won the party. We hosted the event in a room that you can rent out in our building. The day before the party, our neighbors threw a first birthday party for their one year old. It was much bigger than ours and decorated so incredibly: Bunches of balloons all over, huge thematic one year old paraphernalia, birthday banners galore. And they generously offered to keep everything up for us for our party the following day.
What I could do next time: Whenever possible, plan the party a day after my neighbors host. When not possible, scour the web. I did spend a little time looking on Facebook Marketplace and Buy Nothing for first birthday decor, which does exist.
This also makes me think that instead of trashing all of the decor at the end, I probably could have salvaged some to give away to another parent planning a party (my spouse would call this hoarding. It is tough to draw the line between being resourceful and hoarding, some times). I might also consider investing in some reusable party decor, like a number-free birthday banner (or maybe my kids and I will make one together one day? Just manifesting.).
For some reason I felt a lot of self-imposed pressure to have an “activity” of some kind, but it really wasn’t necessary. Kids will make their own fun. One of my nephews spent the entire party kicking balloons around. The other one took a literal nap. My niece just wanted to tickle her baby cousins. I think everyone had fun.
In conclusion, I could do better and I will try to. I still think little kids deserve to have birthday parties, even if it does produce trash. There’s gotta be some joy. I can just try to improve every year, and learn from my mistakes.
Perfection is the enemy of progress or something.
I could look at pictures of your babes in ball pits until the end of time. Happy birthday, Henry and Elle!
Waste or not, it was wonderful.