It's so cool that Burberry made a bag for water bottles

Ah, when eco meets luxury

So you’ve committed to carrying your own reusable water bottle and kicking your single-use plastic water bottle habit to the curb. The change is mostly fine, except you don’t know what to do with your hands.

Your hands!!!

Like, if you use your hands to hold the reusable bottle, or to put the reusable water bottle in a standard purse or tote bag…. or like even a cup holder? or the side pocket of your backpack? … your hands might shrivel up and turn into dust because all of those options are pathetically plebian.

Concerning, but not worth totally freaking out about. Please find the solution in this Logo ECONYL® Water Bottle Shoulder Bag from Burberry, which is available at Nordstrom (I thought that moms were upset bc they went out of business?) for $490.

Know what?

I actually really like the idea of a little vertical fanny pack for my water bottle. Snide as I may be about this specific product, I could see a strapped number coming in handy for times I am: Holding other things in my hands and get thirsty, walking my dog and get thirsty, animatedly talking with my hands and get thirsty, and so on.

The problem with Burberry’s Econyl Water Bottle Shoulder Bag is the problem with everything that starts with good intentions but then gets capitalized by industry piranas. There is no need to shell out $500 for a strap. Plus, the production required to make something like this likely requires a ton of water and resources.

But the ECONYL!

But the ECONYL, you might say. So-called “ECONYL” is “regenerated nylon” made with “recovered nylon waste, such as fishing nets and fabric scraps.” And to that, I would say… So?? If you’re spending $500 on pieces of literal garbage someone (who was underpaid) found on a beach then you’re a sucker.

But also, this is some greenwashing bull. When goods are made of recycled material — like plastic water bottles made from recycled consumer plastic or jeans spun from Ziploc bag remnants or what have you, there’s still a huge downside to the product. It’s cool that the manufacturer found a way to take material that already exists and turn it into something else, but what happens to the product when the buyer is done with it?

Like whoever buys this Burberry water bottle strap may love it for years or used it once and never again because it got tangled in their hair, but eventually, they decide to throw it away, or, maybe, donate it or sell it or what have you.

In time, the product is going to end up in the garbage and then the landfill. Using recycled materials delays those materials from becoming true waste for a longer period of time, sure, but unless there is some thought given to the product’s end of life, it will become trash like everything else.

There is potential for eco luxury to be a good thing. Burberry’s water bottle bag isn’t an example of this.

Good little garbage girl OUT.

H/t to Natasha Z. for sending me this infuriating POS