Donald Trump hates turtles

"BACK TO PLASTIC," our leader shouted in 2025

Big Mr. Man doesn’t want to drink his Diet Coke with a paper straw so, naturally, he’s signing an executive order to…… I’m actually not really sure?

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In July 2024 (a more innocent time..) the Biden Administration released its plans for the federal government — the world’s largest buyer of consumer goods, per Politico, — to “phase out single-use plastics across its buildings” and impose stronger regulations on the plastics industry, which is wrecking the planet as we know it :) . I guess this means Trumpsy Boy is abolishing this effort and welcoming back plastic cutlery to the cafeteria. Classy!

In the fight against plastic, the plastic straw is meant to stand as a symbol for a systemic problem, and yet we’ve taken it so very literally. In 2018, Starbucks announced plans to eliminate plastic straws globally by 2020. As a solve, they released a sleek sippy cup that customers could still pucker from to shepherd caffeine from cup to mouth hole.

wow

Literally they said: Hey, we’re gonna get rid of plastic straws and we will offer you plastic lids instead. The lid was designed to be more easily captured in recycling equipment (straws are famously difficult to recycle), which is a step in the right direction, but it doesn’t really do much about our bigger plastic problem. (Less than 6% of all plastic gets recycled, so it was a beautifully strategic move of greenwashing).

Anyway, going back to plastic is not what the people want. In response to Trump’s recent announcement, Oceana’s plastics campaign director Christy Leavitt said in an email:

Recent Oceana polling reveals that 80% of U.S. voters strongly support requiring companies to reduce single-use plastic packaging and foodware. Recycling alone is not enough to solve the plastics crisis. In fact, less than 6% of plastic waste in the United States is recycled. Instead of doing what is necessary to protect Americans’ health, communities, and coasts from pervasive plastic pollution, President Trump is announcing executive orders that are more about messaging than finding solutions.

Word!

“BACK TO PLASTIC,” our nation’s president shouts in all caps, bringing attention back to plastic’s detriment to society. I genuinely feel energized and riled up when Trump chooses to oppose measures that are indisputably good for the planet. It revives the passion in me! It reminds me that I can care about something and not disassociate entirely.

Listen, paper straws are ass. On that we can all agree. I don’t really care if Donald Trump uses plastic straws. In fact, I think he should keep a stash in the drawer of his desk in the Oval Office, and every time the supply runs low, VP Vance should have to crawl in on his hands and knees and quietly replenish the President’s soda tubes.

But I don’t think “BACK TO PLASTIC,” is the move. People other than me are going to be mad. The plastic straw became the very symbol it is today, in part, because of this poor little turtle:

Source: BBC

It’s a terrible image that I hate to have to look at and share. But this is the exact photo that sparked a plastic straw revolution. While Trump has plans to run policies that will impact the lives of human beings more directly and swiftly than the plastic crisis, the public has an easier time agreeing that we shouldn’t hurt turtles. Whether this is sane or moral or a lack of human empathy is not really the point. The point is: Trump has offered people a cause they can feel comfortable actively opposing.

I do believe this could motivate more people to fight back, vote, and make themselves heard. Plus: It brings some attention to the plastics crisis, which is dire need of our attention.

So, spread the word: Donald Trump hates turtles!!!!!!!!!!